


Sit Back and Smile

by kVader



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, So many cliches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 19:05:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kVader/pseuds/kVader
Summary: Peter sighs and press send'Need ur help, my aunt thinks that Spider-man is my 3 a.m. booty call. There's gonna be dinner tonight. Can u come and act like it for a bit? Thnx.'





	Sit Back and Smile

**Author's Note:**

> No beta reader. I wanted to let my girl (Vixen13 <3) rest for a while lol. So, sorry if there are mistakes :)
> 
> (Thank you TheGayestpepe, for the history help lol)

When Peter woke up this morning, the sun was shining through a thread in the middle of his curtains and birds were chirping in the distance like some kind of Disney movie cliché where Peter was suddenly Snow White or something. 

Now while he pours a cup of coffee and smells the delicious scent of eggs in the pan that his aunt is preparing, the day keeps getting better. 

"Peter," says his aunt, clearing her throat and giving shape to the omelet. 

"Hm?" Peter takes a seat in the kitchen table, opening the newspaper to find another story about him. 

"You know I've always been very open with you." 

"Mhm." Rhino really gave a tough fight last night, Peter still has marks on his body that shows evidence.

"And you know that I expect the same from you." 

"Of course," Peter says, taking another sip of coffee. 

"And I care about you and your happiness," his aunt says, putting the plate with breakfast in front of Peter, who takes his eyes off the newspaper to smile at her. 

"You're the best." 

May nods, with a look that seems determined "I like to think that we have enough confidence to tell each other things." 

Peter nods and takes a bite of the omelet, humming his approval and closing his eyes with a smile, his aunt is the best cook. 

"You know I don't judge, and as long as you're happy, I don't have a problem," continues May, ignoring the sign of gratitude that her nephew just staged "I even like your friends and we both know they are not that... you know. But I feel that maybe I don't know them all?" 

Peter frowns, wondering whether or not he should pour mapple syrup on his coffee as Wade has taught him, Peter never thought it would taste so good, but hey, life gives you lessons. "Like who?" 

"Don't play inocent," his aunt says frustrated and sitting in front of him to observe Peter as if she were studying him "I know what you do at night, Peter." 

Suddenly the bite that Peter had just put into his mouth is not such a good idea, especially when it stuck in his throat and becomes a coughing battle the moment May says those words. "Y-You do?" 

May keeps that determined look, and Peter swallows nervously, while reviewing every moment of his Spider-man life, to see at what moment his aunt could've realized his secret identity. That her nephew is the person who can climb walls and swing through buildings like a spider, risking his life every day, because a teenage version of himself decided that it was a good idea to be near radioactive spiders. 

"I expected more from you, young man." 

Damn it, now his aunt was also disappointed about his little slip the night before when Rhino destroyed a museum wall and he couldn't - 

"But I'm going to give you a chance to make amends," May continues. "I would like to meet the boy who comes to your room every night at around 3 a.m." 

Peter chokes again, this time on bare air and starts coughing, smacking a hand on his chest and desperately praying for Thor to show up and crash a thunder through the nearest window and strike him dead on the spot before Peter has to answer that. As expected, it doesn't happen. 

"I'm not stupid, Peter," continues May, ignoring the heart attack that she nearly provoke her nephew "I was young just like you, and I've had some adventures during my life. I know what the adrenaline rush to sneak a guy into your room at night feels like, especially if -" 

"Oh god, no, stop that!" Peter says, because he really doesn't need to know about his aunt's sex life during her teenage years, especially when his own has a big lack of it. 

"It's not a request, Peter!" dictates May, standing up and walking back to the pan "I want to see that young man sitting on this table at dinner tonight." 

"Literally on the table? Wouldn't that be unhygienic?" May glares at him and Peter grimaces, nodding and taking out his cell phone "Got it, sending the text now." 

Peter sighs and press send _'Need ur help, my aunt thinks that Spider-man is my 3 a.m. booty call. There's gonna be dinner tonight. Can u come and act like it for a bit? Thnx.'_

Peter really would have preferred to be Snow White at this moment. 

\- ∆ - 

Peter is very busy getting a beating from Nat during training, when Wade appears out of nowhere - literally the entrance door never opened, and the only window that exists, has no option to open. There are questions that simply shouldn't be answered. 

Peter takes Nat's arm, placing it under his armpit, and is about to pull her down, when the woman throws her leg against Peter's side, wrapping him around the waist and falling to the floor with him, holding him completely still while Peter tries to get away, because he is just not going to give up again, damn it. When Wade appears in his range of vision, watching them while sitting on a pile of mats. 

"That was beautiful," says the creeper. 

Nat releases Peter and stands up with a grace and elegance that Peter will never achieve in his life "You just lost with a basic instinct move, Peter," she says, placing her hands on her hips "Hypothetically speaking, it's as if you've just died by the hands of a three-year-old." 

"Wha-?" Peter stands up, with unsteady feet. "That doesn't make sense!" 

"What kind of 3-year-olds do you know?" Wade asks, getting off the pile of mats and to his feet "They sound like fun." 

Nat turns to him, giving Wade some importance until now. "What are you doing here, Wilson?" 

Wade points at Peter with his finger "I need to talk to him." 

Nat shakes her head and interrupts Wade immediately "It's not going to happen, we're training and he just died." 

"Uh, I still feel pretty alive, thank you," Peter mutters sarcastically, because manners? 

Nat rolls her eyes and shrugs. "You wanted to be part of the Avengers, so now that you've grown up, it's time to learn something about adulthood, including getting beat up." 

"No, you don't understand," says Wade, putting his arm around Peter's shoulders. "I need to talk to him, 'cause I'm helping him through a difficult time, by giving him this really good head thing that sucks all his demons, and I do believe we're close to achieving something very significant -" 

"Wade, just-" Nat grunts, sliding her palm over her face "Just go, dammit, leave. 5 minutes." 

Wade nods with a grin and Peter shrugs, then walks away with the mercenary. Once they reach a quiet place. Well, relatively quiet, since this is New York, which is basically the Bermuda Triangle of weird supernatural happenings, according to Hollywood. Peter sighs "I'm really trying for Tony to give me good cases and more time in the lab, you know what wouldn't be good? To get fired!" 

"Tony will never kick you out, you're like his son, or foster son, whatever. Fanfictions, amiright?" 

Peter frowns at him blinking several times, then shakes his head and decides to ignore it, like most of the stuff that comes out of Wade's mouth. "You could've answered my text with another one, there was no need for you to come here." 

"Uh, you can't just send a text like that and then expect me not to come, stand in front of you and ask a poetic _what the fuck,_ " Wade approaches Peter, causing a conspiratorial atmosphere "Your booty call?" 

Peter winces and nods, to which Wade snorts and steps back "Have you seen my face lately, Peter?" Peter rolls his eyes, but Wade continues, "Imagine you think an individual is corrupting your cute little nephew -" 

"I'm not little." 

"- And you decide to meet him one day, thinking that your innocent nephew -" 

"I'm not that innocent." 

"- Is having sex with a great man, you know, the typical picture of a gentleman, because your beautiful nephew couldn't be with something less than that. But then this -" Wade lowers the hood of his sweater and points at his face in general, so Peter rolls his eyes again "Shows up, I mean yeah, I have a great body, and I know my smile is lovely, but do you know what I'm not, Petey?" 

Peter looks at him unimpressed as Wade opens his eyes in expectation. "I believe that -" 

"Not a gentleman, Peter! Anything but that, you know why? Because sometimes I talk to a couple of boxes that appear out nowhere and that no one else can see, or because I have a face that looks like peperoni pizza." 

Peter chuckles "Peperoni pizza is good." 

"Are you gonna tell that to your aunt when she's crying in a corner because I'm not the Mr. Darcy to your Bridget Jones?" 

"I thought you were going to say Elizabeth." Wade shrugs and Peter sighs. "Can I talk now?" Wade nods, so Peter continues "My aunt doesn't care about looks, I mean it Wade, she just wants to know who enters her house at night. And clearly I cannot tell her that it is her own nephew in Spider-man's suit because 'Hey Aunt May, I've been Spider-man for a few years now, but I didn't tell you because you might be scared that your nephew could die.' Doesn't sound good, does it?" 

Wade shrugs and Peter glares at him. "Fine." Wade sighs and starts walking away to the nearest window. "It's free food anyway, right?" 

Then he opens that named window, climbs up and jump. Peter is sure there are no stairs there to help you get to the first floor, unless you can safely fly, and Peter knows Wade can't fly. He is about to get a look, when Nat comes out of the training room with her hands on her hips. 

"Move kid, your 5 minutes of resurrection are over!" 

\- ∆ - 

Peter finishes a report before he can go home because adult life is unfair like that. He greets his aunt with a kiss on the cheek and goes upstairs to take a bath before the nightmare that will proably be this dinner. Then he returns to his room to watch videos about electronics that will help him with a college work, and somehow ends up watching videos of cats playing the piano. Because the internet works that way. 

It is while doing this, that he receives a text from Wade that says "I'm outside" and nothing more. 

Peter answers "Ok" and waits for the doorbell to ring or something like that, but instead he only receives a heart attack when he turns to find Wade standing inside his room. "What the hell, Wade?" 

"I told you to come outside," Wade says with a frown. 

"Uh, no, you did not," Peter retorts. "You told me you were outside. You didn't say anything about meeting you there." 

"It was implied." 

"It was not!" 

Wade glares at him, then sits on the bed with worried eyes and very clean clothes. _Wow_ , is that a dress shirt? Wade is actually wearing a button-down shirt, and smelling like something sweet. "Is that cologne?" 

Wade clears his throat and looks away "Um, I thought it would be a good idea, you know... to give the image." 

Peter raises an eyebrow "Image of what?" 

"That I'm a good boyfriend," answers the other, shrugging and walking to the other side of Peter's room, to glare at his biceps in the mirror like they've personally offended him. 

Peter blinks several times, then he hears May calling from the kitchen. "Dinner is served, I expect you both downstairs." 

Wade turns to Peter, eyes wide and straightening his shirt "Do I look okay?" 

Very well actually, Peter has always noticed that Wade is built like a walking wet dream, which doesn't do anything good to what remains of his sanity, so he simply nods, clearing his throat and pushing the other toward the door. "Yeah, super, let's go." 

May is placing the last plate on the table, with green salad that has grapes, because the occasion requires elegance, according to his aunt. The same one who looks up and both eyebrows raise when she watches the two of them come down the stairs, but immediately tries to dissimulate, as the lady she is, and smiles in the direction of Wade. 

"Welcome, I wonder if you ever use the front door," she says, coming up to extend a hand toward Wade. 

The mercenary shakes it, clearing his throat and blushing immediately. Peter is really surprised to see Wade being so shy. "It's a pleasure, Aunt Mrs. May," another throat clearing follows and a nod, "I mean, just Mrs. May." 

His aunt blinks several times, still holding Wade's hand, and then reacts with a laugh "Okay, I think you need to relax," she says, turning around and pointing them to take a seat. "Of course I need to do a thorough investigation, but I don't want anyone to die of a heart attack on my table, either." 

Wade smiles nervously as Peter continues to stare at him with an eyebrow raised in confusion. Both sit down, and Peter begins to serve the food, while May continues her interrogation. 

"I know Peter is of age, but you must understand how insulted I feel to haven't heard about you before," she says, looking at Wade with severity, who's sitting quietly at the other side of the table trying not to squirm. "And I don't mean to offend, but you're much older than Peter -" 

"Hey, rude!" Peter says, narrowing his eyes in the direction of his aunt, who looks back at him with the same expression. 

"I haven't finished the sentence," she says, glaring at Peter one last time, before pointing at Wade with her fork. "And I have nothing against that, but you should have been the voice of reason here, young man." 

Wade nods, swallowing so hard that even Peter can hear it "Yes ma'am, I'm sorry." 

May nods, while taking her portion of mashed potatoes. "At least you're polite, I'll give you points for that." 

"Points?" Peter says, looking at his aunt with raised eyebrows and a gesture of indignation. "Is my love life a game for you, Aunt May?" 

May rolls her eyes, smiling as she shrugs. "Maybe, is my authority a game for you, Peter?" 

Peter smiles, lying a mouthful of vegetables in his mouth "Touché." 

May chuckles, and turns her attention to Wade. "Anyway, what's your name, honey?" 

Wade who is swallowing a piece of meat, begins to cough and sits straight "Wade Winston Wilson, ma'am, three W's" 

Peter looks at him in confusion again, but Wade doesn't seem to notice, under the cloud of shyness he has over his head at the moment. May laughs again and shakes her head. "I can't be angry at you if you act as if my voice were more deadly than the knife you have in your hand." 

Wade laughs nervously, turning his gaze back to the food in front of him. Peter decides that the whole situation is uncomfortable and that the food is too good to pay attention to anything else. May instead decides to continue, naturally. "If I'm not mistaken, this has been happening even before Peter came of age." 

It's at that moment, that Wade chokes with his drink, and Peter opens his eyes wide. May just takes another bite, smiling smugly. 

"How do you know it was Wade?" Peter asks as a defense mechanism, a lousy one, because May looks at him with her mouth wide open. 

"How many people have you let through your window without me noticing?" 

Peter coughs again and shakes his head "Okay, maybe it was Wade." 

To what Wade looks at him with wide eyes, and shoves a forkful of food into his mouth as an excuse not to speak to Peter or May, or to look at Peter or May, or to acknowledge the world in general and the fact that any of this is happening or that he is _in fact_ here. 

"Peter, you'd better start talking," May threatens, her gentle tone fading. 

Peter nods. "Sorry, it's just that you're making me nervous." May keeps her eyes steady, and Peter sighs "Wade and I, um -" 

"I love your nephew," Wade says, almost screaming. Then he notices the tone of his voice, and lowers it next to his gaze. "I um, respect your nephew, what I feel for him is not a game." 

Peter knows that his face is getting so red, tomatoes might just go on strike and die from jealousy. And he can feel Wade's doing the same next to him, but neither dares to look at each other. Peter will have time later to think better about all this, but for now he needs to focus on his own performance. "Yeah," he murmurs, clearing his throat and taking Wade's hand "Me too." 

Apparently that works, as May's gaze softens and a gentle smile is drawn on her lips, so that ends the discussion, because for the rest of the dinner, the topics focus on other things.

"You can stay tonight," May says, as she picks up things from the table. 

Wade and Peter look at each other with wide eyes, and Peter opens his mouth to object, but May interrupts him. "I'm not stupid Peter, I prefer that he stays outright, instead of coming back at 2 a.m to climb up your window. Tomorrow morning there will be breakfast." 

Wade nods, and Peter shakes his head. May simply goes up to her room and ignores them both. Peter is still looking at the stairs, when Wade clears his throat. "So... do you have pajamas for me?" 

Peter sighs and nods, walking in the same direction as his aunt, and entering his room. He hands Wade a pair of sweatpants and a shirt that may be a bit tight. Whatever. And Peter pulls off his jeans to sleep in his boxers and a white shirt. 

It's when they are both in Peter's small bed, that they realize the little amount of clothing between them. The silence continues for a while, until Wade decides to break it. "Do you think she likes me?" 

Peter frowns, staring into the darkness of his ceiling, he doesn't understand what importance has what his aunt thinks about Wade, it's not like this is serious. But he still decides to give a kind answer "Yeah, you made her laugh a lot after you put the shyness aside." 

Wade chuckles, it's a low sound and barely there "Yeah, I like her too." 

Peter smiles, turning his gaze to Wade's shadow, who is also resting face up and with his head on his arm. Peter accommodates his pillow slyly so the mercenary has a little too, and turns in the opposite direction, because he's kind of afraid that if he doesn't get a little further away from Wade, he's going to press closer instead. 

"Good night, Wade, and thanks." 

Wade doesn't answer immediately, so Peter closes his eyes and lets himself be carried by the other's breathing and some kind of argument he's having with his boxes. It's when Peter is falling asleep, that he hears a. "Night, Pete." 

\- ∆ - 

There is something in the mornings, that moment when the body reacts naturally, especially when there is so much contact against another skin throughout the night. 

Peter tries to adjust his eyes to the glare of the sun entering through the hollows of his curtain, and can feel his cheek crushed against a chest. No, not any chest, it's Wade. Who still sleeps, but his friend down there is very awake against Peter's thigh, who at some point of the night pulled his leg and basically his whole body, over Wade. 

Now, there's nothing wrong with it, Peter knows what a morning wood is, but his young body could react at any moment, and it would be even more awkward to try to explain his erection against Wade's hip, especially since he woke up without one. 

Slowly Peter begins to move away, sliding cautiously and trying to make the slightest contact with his sensitive member. But Wade is like an octopus, and takes Peter before he can react, pulling him back over his body. The problem is that now both parts are on top of each other and Peter forgets what breathing is. 

"Two or three eggs?" A sigh is followed by those words, and Peter turns his gaze to the source of it. May is standing under the doorway, arms crossed and looking at them unimpressed. 

Peter clears his throat and hits Wade on the shoulder. "It's not my fault that riding a horse was so much fun!" shouts the other, before realizing what is happening around him. 

Peter sighs, burying his face in Wade's chest, and mutters "Two eggs, please." 

May nods smiling, and disappears behind the door, going down the stairs while shouting. "I'll be waiting in the kitchen." 

A long silence follows, and Wade raises his hand, but immediately drops it again, which makes Peter realize the position in which they are, so he leaps up and clears his throat, turning to look for clothes in his closet. 

"Did you sleep well?" He asks out of sheer courtesy, because the embarrassment makes his voice tremble. 

"Yeah, your bed is comfy," says Wade, sitting on the bed and scratching the back of his neck. "Plus, sleeping next to Spider-Man is like a dream come true, so basically I was double dreaming." 

Peter laughs while shaking his head, and walks to the bathroom where he brushes his teeth because he’s pretty sure something crawled inside his mouth during the night, died and is already decomposing. Then he takes a bath, not thinking much about anything in general, and goes down to the kitchen while Wade takes his own bath. 

May is waiting for him with fruits and granola, because being a nurse requires giving an example about health. Peter decides to eat cereal with his fruit, because he is not a nurse and has the right. 

"Did you sleep well?" May asks, drinking from her cup of coffee to hide a laugh. 

Peter rolls his eyes and sits down in front of his aunt. "For your information, your nephew slept all night, absolutely _all night_." 

"And your aunt really doesn't care," May answers, wrinkling her face and shuddering. "I asked just to be polite." 

Peter laughs, eating his cereal as he reads some news about strange events that have been taking place in New York. Because this city really is like a vacation spot for strange creatures. When just at that moment, his phone vibrates with a message, it's Tony, he wants to see them. Wade and him. 

Peter frowns, and Wade appears under the threshold of the kitchen. "Iron Daddy wants to see us." 

May places the plate with fruit for Wade in front of him, and the mercenary smiles widely, sitting next to Peter "Thank you May, you own my heart." 

May winks at him, and sits down to continue her breakfast. "Tony is a great man, I'm very glad he gave you that scholarship in the lab." 

Peter smiles, nodding as he lowers his cell phone. Then Wade speaks, and it's too late "You think it's because of that," and he points with his head to the newspaper "Maybe they want us to intervene and -" 

Peter clears his throat and shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about," he mutters, glaring at Wade with accusatory eyes. 

The mercenary opens his eyes wide and coughs, "Yeah, me neither, who's talking anyway?" 

May looks at them, blinking several times, while the other two smile nervously. "Well," says Peter, eating quickly to finish. "I'm super full, thanks Aunt May." 

Wade hasn't finished eating, but Peter pulls him from the collar of his shirt to the door, after all, this situation is his fault. 

\- ∆ - 

Since entering the tower Friday told them that everyone was waiting in the meeting room, which is nothing strange, after all they always meet there. What Peter did not understand, was why they wanted Wade there, the Avengers usually never counted him as one more, the mercenary's methods were not the group's favorites. 

But now that he is seated, with Wade at his side, and the Avengers are watching them while Tony observes attentively with his arms crossed over his chest, Peter would prefer that the group didn't take either Wade or him seriously. 

"I heard somewhere that you guys are dating," Tony comments, trying to sound casual as he cleans one of his Iron Man gloves, pointing it in the direction of Wade as the typical angry dad cowboy stereotype. Which is more awkward, because Tony is not even Peter's dad. 

Maybe sometimes. Whatever. Peter has other issues to deal with. 

"Aunt May, right?" Peter asks, rolling his eyes. "We're acting, my aunt was suspecting that someone supposedly comes up my window every night, which is me as Spider-Man, but she doesn't know. So I asked Wade to help me, acting as my boyfriend so she won't figure it out." 

Nat raises a sardonic eyebrow in his direction, smiling and returning to the task of filing her nails, the others look at them in the same way, but keep their eyes on them, as if Peter and Wade were ignorant of something only they know. Which, _rude._

Tony instead rolls his eyes. "In any case, May told me she was worried because she didn't see any use of protection," Says the millionaire, crouching down to look for something under the table, and pulls out a damn box full of condoms. Extra-strength, for all sizes, and no loss of sensation, apparently. And he puts them on the table. The same table that is supposed to be for meetings of serious categories. 

"Your Aunt and I want to see those things being open and used, young man." 

"To see them being open and used," Peter says slowly, and Tony glares at him. "Like some kind of creeper who would check my trash every day?" 

"Or do you want to be there when it all happens?" Wade asks, smiling in the direction of Tony, who also glares at him. "There's no problem for me, but you would have to ask my boo." 

"Fine, to be used," snarls Tony "You know what I mean. Shut up, I'm the grown up here." 

"I'm a grown up too" Peter says crazily, while moving his hands. 

Tony narrows his eyes at him. "Twenty one doesn't count as an adult." 

"Uh, yes it does, in basically every country in the world," Peter interjects. 

"Is this your way of convincing us that your sexual life with Wade is legal?" Steve asks. 

"Oh, my God!" Peter cries, burying his face in his hands "This is the worst." 

"This is the best," Wade says with a big smile, and everyone turns their attention to the mercenary, except for Peter, who is still trying for his hands to create a hole in space that could swallow him. 

"Let them be, Tony," snorts Nat, shaking her head. "You've done enough with your generous gift." 

Steve clears his throat, pushing the condoms closer to Peter, and standing up, "Anyway, we want to talk about the strange events that have been going on." 

"I feel like this is strange enough," Clint mutters, earning a glare from Tony, and a snort from Bruce, who tries to hide his smile under his hand. 

Steve explains what they have managed to find, along with pictures that some passers-by have taken from afar of this group that seem to be witches or something like that, who have been turning fire hydrants into strange creatures like ogres, minotaurs, werewolves, etc., to scare people. 

"Sounds like fun," says Wade, stretching out in his chair "Maybe they want to create some kind of Hogwarts academy." 

Steve sighs, but decides to continue. "At the moment we're working on finding out more." 

"So stay out of this," Tony says, pointing with his finger at Peter, who gasps offended. "We'll let you, and maybe you -" he says looking at Wade, who blows him a kiss. "- Know when we have more information. For now, it's none of your business." 

So, that's how Peter makes it all of his business, naturally. And he ends up following one of the witches to a fire station, which explains why they use fire hydrants. 

The young woman turns the back alley of the station, where Peter follows her from above and in complete silence. Then the witch looks around, making sure no one is following, lifts the dumpster lid and walks in. _Ew._

Peter follows, wrinkling his face as he lifts the lid, but when he opens it completely, he finds everything clean, with no trace of actual garbage, and a simple door that lies in the bottom. Peter scrunches up his brows, and decides to continue, opening the door and entering through narrow tunnels, following the light the witch uses to guide her way. 

Then he stops when he hears voices, "Nobody followed you, right?" 

The other doesn't answer aloud, but Peter assumes that she shakes her head. He would like to think that it is so. To which the other answers with an "Alright," and they walk to a wide and round space under the ground, where several pipes are connected. 

Peter stares hidden inside a pipe, while two more witches approach the other two, including the one Peter was following. There are several hydrants in the place, which Peter finds funny, but this is an important mission, so he doesn't laugh. 

"Everything is prepared, we just have to wait for the planets to align," says one of them. 

"The source of power is ready?" Asks another, to which the first nods, pointing to a device in the middle of the room, from which a few sparks comes out. 

"It is loaded and more than ready, thanks to this, New York City will be enclosed under a power dome, all that in probably less than half an hour, once the galaxy grants it to us." 

Peter raises both eyebrows in surprise, he is sure that if he could get a little closer to see the device more carefully, he could disarm it before the planets align. But right at that moment, a spider lies down on his shoulder -ironically- and although Peter does not scream, because he really doesn't, a gasp inside a tube sounds like a bomb. 

The witches turn to where Peter is, which is his signal to fly away, sliding down the pipe while dodging hexes that they begin to throw at him. He has important information, now he just have to inform the group, and probably listen to Tony scold him for three hours. 

When Peter arrives home, Wade is waiting for him sitting on a staircase near his house, playing with some stones while placing them on the floor in an elegant design of a penis. Peter clears his throat, and Wade smiles widely under his mask, standing up and cleaning his suit "How was your day?" 

Peter raises an eyebrow as he enters his room, being followed by Wade, who takes off the mask when Peter does. "I followed one of the witches" he says. 

Wade nods, shrugging "I figured you would," says the mercenary, who for some reason is taking off his boots and everything else. 

"Uh, what are you doing?" Peter asks, looking at him. 

"Getting comfortable." 

"Why?" 

Wade rolls his eyes and takes off his shirt. "Because your aunt listened when you arrived, and she thinks it's me, so now I can't leave, it would be impolite." 

Peter has the need to refute, but a part of him (the smartest one, he would like to think) is too tired to find the strength to argue. So he simply takes off his suit, and lets himself colapse on the bed. Wade joins him almost immediately, hugging Peter from behind and curling up against his back. Again, Peter should object, but he will do so later. 

"I came here in the afternoon while you were investigating, your aunt and I watched a Golden Girls marathon." 

Peter raises an eyebrow. "I think my aunt likes you more than it should be normal for the guy who corrupts her nephew." 

Wade laughs, and asks in a yawn. "Anyway, did you find anything?" 

"The witches want to create a dome or something, to lock New York." Peter shrugs one shoulder, and Wade snorts behind him. 

"What's with the Stephen King complex?" 

Peter chuckles and shrugs again "I know, right?" 

And that's how they both sleep together. Again. 

\- ∆ - 

The next morning is very chaotic, apparently the galaxy decided to align its planets very early in the morning, while Wade and Peter drooled in their fifth dream. Both of their phones went off, ringing all over the room, and making them jump until Peter ended up on the roof. 

Wade watches him for a moment admiring the image, and then raises his cell phone to his ear. The witches had lit the reactor and now all the hydrants were strange creatures they had to fight against. Wade looks at Peter knowing that he has important information, so the brunet sighs and comes down from the ceiling. 

"Behind the fire station they have the power source, Tony," says Peter, putting on the suit quickly. 

"How do you know?" Tony asks on the other side of the line. 

Peter rolls his eyes, and Wade answers for him "What does it matter now, Tony? Move your pretty, millionaire ass to the fire station, along with the person who owns that ass." 

"What?" asks Tony "Who?" 

"America's Sweetheart, aka Captain America, aka Steve Rogers, aka the sexiest man on magazine covers, you know," before Tony can answer, Wade hangs up, and puts on his own suit and mask. Peter snorts, and writes a brief note telling May that "they went out to have some breakfast," before they both leave to the source of the disaster. 

People are locked in the stores, watching from the windows what is happening, or trying to escape from some strange mythological creature that once was a good hydrant. Peter goes directly to the fire station, saving a little girl on the way, who was about to receive a masse by an ogre. 

Tony has a lot to say, but Peter ignores him, walking away with Wade to the trash can, while the Avengers are in charge of fighting against the creatures, and opens the lid for the both of them to enter the tunnels leading to the energy source of this whole freak show. 

"When did you come?" Tony asks not very subtly through the wire that keeps them in contact with each other. 

Peter rolls his eyes and clears his throat as he crawls through the tube. "Yesterday?" 

Tony is going to object, but Peter silences the device as an excuse that it makes a lot of noise. Wade chuckles and the silence ceases to exist. "If you had told me that I would have this amazing view of your back, I would've come since yesterday." 

Peter instantly notices his position, and turns his head to glare at Wade while the mercenary moves his eyebrows seductively. "I'm just kidding, no, not really." 

Peter kicks him in the shoulder and Wade laughs, stroking the area "Anyway, how many witches are there?" 

"Yesterday there were four," Peter says "They may be more, I don't know." 

Wade nods and looks as a rat passes over their heads "At least the place is cozy." 

Peter laughs while nodding, "What can you expect from a place to which you arrive through a dumpster?" 

The brunet looks over his shoulder, and the grin that spreads across Wade’s face makes Peter’s heart do that annoying skipping thing that everyone talks about in movies, that he hates so much and doesn't want to be part of at this moment. Thank you very much. 

So he sighs relieved, and is thankful when they finally reach their destination. At another moment he will have time to deal with situations such as romantic stuff, for now he has a probable fight ahead. But then again Achilles and Potrocalus did fall in love and it lead to war, so maybe people are right in associating love and violence together. 

But Peter really shouldn't be thinking about love right now, because his thought is followed by a shriek, when something very much like a lightning brushes his ass. 

"Oh no, not there, honey," Wade says, pulling out his katanas to start fighting with one of the witches. 

The four surround the device that apparently gives more power to their magic, and keeps alive the strange creatures that are outside. 

"As always, it's your fault," shouts one of the women to another witch, the one Peter followed the day before, as they continue to pull out spells to keep Peter or Wade from approaching. "You'd better fix it." 

The one that Peter followed, growls, throwing a spell that falls just at Peter's feet, who dodges it throwing a web to the ceiling and jumping away. He falls right next to another witch, who he puts as a shield by pure instinct when the one he followed throws something with her wand, which turns her friend into a rat. 

"I'm sorry," Peter says, wrinkling his face and walking away toward the device. 

Wade takes another by the neck with his arm, and begins to exert enough pressure until the woman falls to the floor. "Sweet dreams, I really do hope you're just unconscious and not actually dead. I mean, I usually apply pressure to kill, but I like you, so I tried to just make you sleep" Wade whispers, patting the shoulder of the witch on the floor. 

The device is somewhat old and unstable, but Peter manages to transform the original message with specific codes, changing the order to self-destruct. The computer takes some time to change its codes, so while Peter waits for it to work, he hears a scream. 

"Damn you, I will not let you ruin my plan!" Shouts the first witch, the boss apparently, who points her wand at Wade, who is trying to push away another witch that climbed to his back. 

Peter knows that this is perhaps the worst idea he has ever had in his life, but before the lightning strikes Wade, Peter jumps in front of the mercenary, so that it hits him instead. Peter falls on his side to the floor, gripping his stomach, which burns, while waiting with anguish to become a rat or something. 

But it doesn't happen, and the side of his stomach just burns. 

"Fucking shit," Wade grunts, punching the boss witch, and knocking her out with a quick blow. "Damn it, Spidey, what the fuck?" 

The mercenary knees next to Peter, who raises the shirt of his suit to find a mark that seems made with a lightsaber. It looks like without the device, the witches lost power. 

Peter chuckles, wincing when he stands up. He limps toward the device, pressing a button and turning to get out of there as soon as possible. 

"Perfect," Wade sighs behind Peter. "Now we'll set fire to the fire station, what an irony." 

\- ∆ - 

Once the firefighters manage to extinguish the fire, which did not really have a chance to come out of the ground, the Avengers return to the tower, while Peter and Wade return to the brunet's house. 

Wade has been silent, which is very uncomfortable considering that Wade is _never_ silent. Peter clears his throat as they enter his room through his window, it's late, but May is not at home, she's on her nursing shift. 

"So," Peter says, scratching the back of his neck and smiling at Wade as he sits on the bed. The mercenary closes the window and goes straight to Peter's closet to get the first aid kit, which is weird because Peter doesn't remember telling him where it was. But anyway, he decides to let it pass. "Hogwarts doesn't sound so funny now, does it?" 

Wade doesn't laugh, he doesn't even smile, he simply takes off his mask and puts it aside, pulling the desk chair to sit in front of Peter, who takes off his own mask and bites his lip, looking at Wade confused "Are you okay?" 

Wade looks at him with serious eyes, but then looks down to continue his work, helping Peter remove the shirt of his suit. Peter shudders, the burn is healing, but it still hurts. Wade, on the other hand, glares at the wound as if it just told him a bad joke.

"You shouldn't have intervened," the mercenary says between clenched teeth, wetting a gauze in antibiotic and passing it over and around the wound, while Peter wrinkles his face in pain. "Damn it Peter, look at you, why did you do that?" 

"Sorry for saving you," Peter says, maybe he grunts because it makes him angry. "I'm fine anyway, what does it matter?" 

"What does it matter," Wade repeats in a sarcastic and angry tone. "You were lucky that it hit you on the damn side, with or without enough magic that lightning could have killed you." 

"But it didn't!" 

"That's not the fucking point!" Wade shouts frustrated, "What does it matter if it hit me? I can't die and you know it." 

"Because I don't want you to die!" Peter screams, and then lowers his tone, "even if you can't really die." 

Both's chests rise and fall with their frantic breathing, while the two remain silent, and Peter's face is as red as Wade's and the room is so hot right now, Peter wouldn’t be surprised if they turn on the TV and the newsbroadcast start reporting an unpredicted heat wave that's striking the city. 

Wade watches him with wide eyes, and something else in them, doubt and anxiety, as he comes closer to Peter with a hesitant step. "Why?" 

Peter bites his lip, but rolls his eyes "Why do you think, potato head?" 

Wade smiles lightly, glancing at Peter's lips, and slowly merges their faces together in a dobious kiss, joining their lips just slightly, as if giving Peter time to run away. But Peter's body moves before his brain reacts, and he steps forward, leaning up to place Wade’s lips into their perfect, rightful place between his own. 

Wade lets out a relieved sigh, tangling their tongues together. And Peter feels like it's hard to breathe, but whatever, Peter doesn't need oxygen, not really. Plus, it would be just like him to have a heart attack the second after Wade kissed him. 

But unfortunately he manages to breathe when everything stops, and Wade moves away a little to look at Peter with wide eyes, and Peter is still processing everything that is happening, because the wound in his side suddenly ceased to be his priority. 

"Are you okay?" Wade whispers, studying every detail in Peter's face, who simply nods, lost in the blue of Wade's eyes, which, _wow_ , they are very beautiful and Peter had never really seen them so closely. 

"Why did you stop?" Peter asks, his breath against Wade's lips, because the mercenary didn't actually moved that far away. 

Wade laughs slightly, still looking at Peter's lips. "Because I've been sleeping in the same fucking bed as Spider-Man for the last two nights, if we keep doing this -" He flails his hands and figures that's good enough to encompass everything he means. "I don't think I can stop." 

Peter laughs, shaking his head and narrowing the distance again "And who says I want you to stop?" 

Wade stops breathing, afraid that if he lets out a single sound, the bubble of dream in which he is is going to burst. Peter rolls his eyes, and it is he who initiates the kiss this time, as he pulls Wade to where they have been sleeping and now he have different plans for it. 

Peter's hands are everywhere as they complete the journey to his little bed, and Peter falls backwards, with Wade on top of him. One of Peter's hands finishes in Wade's bald head as the other traces each knob of his spine. Wade kisses him deeper because he can, licking his way into Peter's warm and waiting mouth, while Peter's fingers do their own, and tightens in Wade's shoulder. 

His hand then follow another path, going down the solid contours of Wade's chest, which is so built that even the Great Wall of China is envious.

Wade moans into the kiss, as one of his own palms go down Peter's body, tracing every outline until it gets where he wants it to be, cupping Peter's cock, and drawing a soft noise of pleasure out of him as Wade traces the length over his pants, which quickly end up somewhere on the floor. 

Wade tucks his nose into the bend of Peter's neck, sucking a spot that makes Peter's legs go weak. Every tweak and lick, makes Peter's dick throb even more until he's either going to come or explode. 

"Wade," he whines, stretching out his hand to lower the mercenary's pants, and takes the textured member in his hands. Wade groans, biting Peter's earlobe, who gives him a strong pull. 

Wade's palm wraps around Peter's hand, trapping their cocks together, to start a slow and steady pace. Shallow gasps and choked moans spill unbidden out of their throats, while Peter moves his hips to find Wade's own thrusts. 

"Fuck Pete," breathes Wade, resting his forehead on Peter's, looking into his eyes and panting hot over his mouth, which Peter opens, but is sealed by Wade's lips, who kisses him with passion. Immediately Peter moans into the kiss, and surges forward, wrapping his free arm around Wade's neck and opening his mouth, submitting to Wade's onslaught completely. 

Peter can feel Wade is closer to the edge, so he moves his hand to the rhythm of his hips, stopping occasionally to rub his slick thumb over the heads of their cocks. Wade groans, closing his eyes tightly, and showing his teeth as his face becomes the image of pleasure. 

The mercenary moves his hand faster as he closes in on his orgasm, taking Peter with him. Wade gasps one last time, letting out everything and painting Peter's stomach, who after a eternity. Well, five minutes. Whatever. Knows he's coming before he quite feels it happen. 

Wade laughs tiredly, falling down face up beside Peter, and closing his eyes in pure joy. While Peter at his side, feels like he's floating away on a cloud of sunshine and angels. 

"Holy shit, that was good," Wade says at last, and Peter laughs at his side, turning his gaze to the mercenary to smile at him. 

"It was, why hadn't we done it before?" 

Wade shrugs, turning sideways to kiss Peter more calmly. Then he stands up, heading for the bathroom "I'll bring a towel." 

Peter sighs contentedly, and opens his eyes to find the note he had left to his aunt on the bedside table, it seems to have something more written, so Peter reaches out and reads. "Oh God!" 

"What?" Wade asks, climbing up the bed again, to wipe Peter's stomach 

Peter sighs again, passing a hand over his face, and shakes his head. "May says tomorrow morning there will be breakfast again." 

Wade snorts and kisses him, to which Peter smiles and pulls him closer again. Later, when he regains energy, he will have time to worry about the rest of that note, for now he has a handsome mercenary kissing him on his bed. 

_Tell Wade to stay for breakfast. And good luck saving the world, Spider-Kid ;) Love you, Aunt May._


End file.
